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True Story©… Get What You Asked For

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       I spend a lot of my (semi-) adulthood running away from my childhood… … oh, and I will NOT be addressing my absence for the last month. IYKYK.      When I dropped by my barber two weeks ago, the first thing he asked was "damn, how many pairs of shoes do you HAVE!?"  as I was sitting down to receive my fade. I sat and calmly explained that my sneaker collection -- and yes, I wear my shit -- is a direct response to how we came up. We didn't have a lot, and 100% literally never got new release shoes, always the clearance ones or the ones that found their way to Marshalls, until I was a senior in High School and could buy my own shit.  Even then, I got a side eye for buying them. Sure, we had Nikes but not the ones everyone else had. More frustrating is that this happened in the golden era of the early 90s, so my interest in sneakers at that time was mostly as an outsider who couldn't afford to come inside.      That w...
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In the kitchen with Phlip -- oven-crispy catfish nuggets

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            The sweet thing about this post will be how little it actually wound up costing.  I honestly had no plans when I went to the store to make it, but when I walked past the fish, it was priced so perfectly that I could not have left it there.  I went into the store with intentions on getting something simple and inexpensive to cook and it was ABOUT to involve some chicken and probably potatoes, but then this happened. Cast of characters… 3 small packages of farm-raised catfish (wild catfish are fucking disgusting bottom feeders) nuggets  ($1.33, $1.35 and $1.45, respectively): ½ cup of lemon or lime juice ($1.79 for the bottle): Call your mom on the way home from the store and raid her cupboard for a few handfuls of Jingos and cheez-it crackers ($0.00): ½ cup vinaigrette of your choosing ($0.00, already in the house): Seasonings of your choosing ($0.00, already in the house): (no...
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Ghetto-ass names; they're my birth control

I work in a place where I have to actually talk to people from doctors' offices. Often times, I see or hear people with names that cause me to HONESTLY question: what the fuck their parents were thinking when they saddled them with it? if said parents were even a MOMENT over the age of 16 when they named them? are fathers REALLY so pretentious as to need to name their DAUGHTERS after themselves? Enlisting the assistance of The Katie in the name of collection of the names as presented, as well as offering up a few of her own, I have compiled here a list of some of the most egregious of the names I have since come across... If you happen upon this list and find your name, don't take it personally... If you happen upon this list and you see the name of YOUR child, TAKE IT PERSONALLY and apologize to your children as soon as possible. If you've bestowed one of these names upon an as-yet unborn child, please rethink your strategy, use a different and STILL apologize to your chi...
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