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Ghetto-ass names; they're my birth control

I work in a place where I have to actually talk to people from doctors' offices. Often times, I see or hear people with names that cause me to HONESTLY question: what the fuck their parents were thinking when they saddled them with it? if said parents were even a MOMENT over the age of 16 when they named them? are fathers REALLY so pretentious as to need to name their DAUGHTERS after themselves? Enlisting the assistance of The Katie in the name of collection of the names as presented, as well as offering up a few of her own, I have compiled here a list of some of the most egregious of the names I have since come across... If you happen upon this list and find your name, don't take it personally... If you happen upon this list and you see the name of YOUR child, TAKE IT PERSONALLY and apologize to your children as soon as possible. If you've bestowed one of these names upon an as-yet unborn child, please rethink your strategy, use a different and STILL apologize to your chi...
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True Story©… Get What You Asked For

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       I spend a lot of my (semi-) adulthood running away from my childhood… … oh, and I will NOT be addressing my absence for the last month. IYKYK.      When I dropped by my barber two weeks ago, the first thing he asked was "damn, how many pairs of shoes do you HAVE!?"  as I was sitting down to receive my fade. I sat and calmly explained that my sneaker collection -- and yes, I wear my shit -- is a direct response to how we came up. We didn't have a lot, and 100% literally never got new release shoes, always the clearance ones or the ones that found their way to Marshalls, until I was a senior in High School and could buy my own shit.  Even then, I got a side eye for buying them. Sure, we had Nikes but not the ones everyone else had. More frustrating is that this happened in the golden era of the early 90s, so my interest in sneakers at that time was mostly as an outsider who couldn't afford to come inside.      That w...
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Football observations, brought on by The Katie...

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That's right, I am partially blaming this one on her. A large strengthening part of my relationship with the Katie is that she is genuinely interested in the sports that I am. Well, at least Basketball and Football, but we can work on road racing later. Anyways, this means that on given evenings (Wed-Fri to be exact), we will be watching -- or at least listening to background noise comprised of -- NBA games together. The onset of the NCAA season will add college games to that on Mondays and Tuesdays, then the end of NFL football will see the oncoming of NBA ball on Sunday afternoons. [ Phlip note - tell me I don't plan ahead for these things and mean it] Normally when one splices a scribe with an "anyways," he is returning back to the task at hand from a slight (or not so slight) digression, but being the asshole that I am, I am making a point of drawing your attention to the fact that I did not, while going further off into the rabbit hole. I will not apolo...
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