The musings of a madman...

         I was away from you fine folks for a month in Mid-December, and then two and a half months from January until three weeks ago... Those who NEED to know what was shaking with me during that time know, but those that do not can rest assured that the absence was not fully voluntary or at all pleasant.     One thing I did a lot of between December 17th and March 26th was reflecting.  One might even say I was "brooding," brooding on what in my life I may have done to have foisted my current situation upon myself.  The worst thing for people in this kind of situation is idle time to think about it and lord knows I was damn near literally MADE of time, what with no yard work or outdoor exercise to get up to in the absolute dead of a brutal winter.     I sat and I stewed...  The longer I sat, the angrier I got.  As I said above, the more time I spent thinking on it all I somehow arrived to the conclusion that I was the ar...

       I've been away from y'all, but y'all have not been off my mind or out of my inbox. Just for the record, y'know... So at the beginning of March, I get an email in the Moe Phillips box with a request that kind of made my pressure go up a bit... "Moe,     My name is Belvin and I come to you with a quandary... I have two female friends from college, my wife knows them well and they're both involved with their own guys. They're planning a trip to a cabin the first weekend of spring and have asked me along. I naturally declined, as we have small children in my house and I didn't want to be a fifth wheel. Their explanation was that they wanted to spend the whole trip without having to exit the cabin except on foot, but none of them can cook well enough to make this work and that is where I come in, even offering to let me bring another friend from school to occupy me if the 'fifth wheel' thing was a concern. They FURTHER explained that I wou...

       Okay, so I'm chilling in the house on a random-ass Wednesday morning with the Baby Bird™ . It should be noted that "chilling in the house" means I am on the clock, whereas being "at home" would have meant I was on the couch, in my bed or in the garage. Also, Baby Bird™ is my new nickname for my grandlittle as she physically outgrows Tiny Little™ . Anyway, chilling in the house with an infant. The phone rings... Me: "Hello?" Caller: "Hey Phillip, it's Chris." Me: "Whatup Chris? You usually just text!" [ Phlip note : Chris is the guy who bought my old house, he texts me to come grab straggling mail items when they happen to show. The house is right on my daily travels and is only 8 minutes from my new place ] Chris: "Yeah, it's not mail this time. You got a visitor." Me: "A--... visitor? No one even visited me when I LIVED there! It ain't the cops is it?" Chris: "No, he is insistent t...

     I've been away for a few weeks. No it was not planned. No I will not be explaining publicly, if you know you know.      While on the shelf, I had a lot of time to think about my next moves. I mean, I was only off work one week, plus one day each for the holidays, but this also coincides with the slow season at work so yeah... a lot of time. Sometimes during the day, I'll have the TV on ESPN for noise until "noise" includes a certain blowhard whose name I will not--... Screamin' A Smith. I change the channel when I hear his voice. Anyway... ESPN. They partner with the Make-A-Wish Foundation and apparently John Cena to make sick kids dreams come true and then put it on TV to let sponsors and advertisers foot the bill while they write it off on their own taxes. Wild, but wholly American.      So I has this idea... If you think I'mma fake an illness or borrow a kid to fake an illness in order to get a chance to be in the same room a...