True Story©... Career Update

I was going to call, I swear!

I'm chilling at my desk Monday when the phone rings...

Me: "Hello?"

Caller: "I just text you a link."

Me: "Bro, I found that link last week. I don't use Spotify when Google packages YouTube Music on the Pixel automatically. Also, good morning Jigga--... shit, Jericho Jackson."

Jericho: "You can call me Blicky Bobby now."

Me: "I will call you by your fucking name."

Jericho: "Fine... So..."

Me: "'So' what?"

Jericho: "So what did you think?"

Me: "Y'know what? I'mma give you this assessment one by one.  We'll do it in real time, even though I built these opinions like a week and a half ago."

Jericho: "Thank you."

I pulled up the EP TrapAllDayAndNight - The Ballad of Blicky Bobby and my notes to compare track name to what I'd intended to say whenever I spoke to him.  I queued all tracks up and hit play...

Me: "Track one, Blicky Bobby's Anthem.

I will go ahead and say that everything on this whole EP is microwave trap beats, super short songs that get right to whatever point is being made. Music for the short attention span audience. You ride this beat well, you blend the trap feel with a rapping-about-rapping vibe I liked in the early 00s. Like I told you before when you sent me this one, I hate how much I didn't hate it."

Jericho: "Early 00s?  Damn you--..."

Me: "... old enough to be your fuckin daddy, boy. Watch your mouth!  Matter fact, what's your mama's name?"

Jericho: "Please don't... Sorry."

Me: "So track 2, Excellence... How the hell is this song only a minute and nine seconds long? Don't answer that. You wrapped this whole song around waking up and pissing excellence. I see what you're doing here and it is kind of clever."

Jericho: "Thank you."

Me: "Just a little bit, though. So next we got IYAFYL. I gather that's an acronym or--…. oh... If You Ain't First You're Last. You're really clinging to this concept ain't you?"

Jericho: "Yep. I went right to work as soon as I told you my plan."

Me: "Aight, so we got track 4, Mauled by a Cougar--... HAHAHAHA!!! What the fuck is wrong with you!?"

Jericho: "I thought it was funny."

Me: "It's hilarious. I can't honestly say I know the point of this song other than the joke itself, but hey it worked."

Jericho: "Mmhmm..."

Me: "What was next, um... Hustle Heavy. Shit, this hits right off as one of them anthems, or whatever they call--... shit, Shake and Bake? You're a fucking menace bro."

Jericho: "Heheh... I try."

Me: "So Immortal Ambitions. Jesus dude, how many times you watch this movie?"

Jericho: "Dozens? Like more than I'm proud to admit."

Me: "It shows, because 'I feel like the Highlander' is obscure as fuck. I'll give you marks for commitment to the bit."

Jericho: "Thanks."

Me: "Okay, so now it's--... what the fuck, Blickard Robert...  what the hell is that!?"

Jericho: "I can't do this silly shit forever. Eventually I'mma have to grow up. Blickard Robert is a mature moniker for my rap name like how old rappers used to have their official name plus a different but related one."

Me: "I really think I hate you. No movie reference on this one?"

Jericho: "Nope."

Me: "And you can sing, dude!?"

Jericho: "Auto tune, bro.  HEAVY voice correction and modification.  I like sounding different from song to song sometimes so I be changing it up after the fact a lot.  I've done a lot of that on what I've recorded since this project too."

Me: "Of course, just know that voice switching shit will confuse people. This next one is named Trapped in the Fire. Is this a fucking gospel song?"

Jericho: "Keep going..."

Me: "OH SHIT!!! 'HELP ME TOM CRUISE'?!!?"

I had to step away for a second because I laughed until I choked on saliva which in turn caused me to have a coughing fit until I damn near threw up.

Jericho: "Yeah. That was fun."

Me: "Okay so last is Top Spot Anthem. You'll reference--... right, can't be two number ones, plus a whole bunch of marching band references too. Okay so we're done now."

Jericho: "So what you think?"

Me: "That was--... something..."

Jericho: "Something good? Something bad?"

Me: "No."

Jericho: "Huh?"

Me: "But somehow yes. It wasn't awful, but I ain't about to sit here and tell you that trap is ever my thing."

Jericho: "Fair."

Me: "But compared to where you were when you came to the Wrist Twistin' Kitchen, you're still knee deep into the world's greatest comeback season. Perhaps of all time. Keep working and I'd venture to say you're getting pretty good at this."

Jericho: "Good, because I got another project I'm knocking out at the beginning of March, and--..."

Me: "... and Santa heard your little Christmas songs."

Jericho: "What? Santa? Dude I'm not seven years old."

Me: "Never mind. I'm subscribed to your feed in YouTube music, I'll be notified when it hits. Just keep getting better."

Jericho: "Thanks."

    So it was 17 minutes comprised of 9 short tracks of mostly meaningless but overall harmless fun.  I guess if one approaches it from a position of not necessarily taking it seriously, it works.  It showcased that he has improved his ability to think conceptually and apply the attention span to stick to the idea, even if not enough attention span to spend a lot of time on it. I guess I'm overall thankful that his former persona Jiggaboo Jackson from before The Wrist Twistin' Kitchen has been scrubbed from the internet, because I cannot honestly describe how much better this is than that was.
I found him on YouTube Music because, again, I ain't PAYING for Spotify, I'll keep my eyes peeled for the next release to hit my notifications.