Of course I would have a long list of questions, I haven't done one of these in a little while now...
- Why is it that the one day the weather would have cooperated with me, allowing me 30-40 uninterrupted minutes of non-rain, Time Warner Cable FINALLY sent someone to bury the cable in my back yard and I couldn't fucking do it?
- Speaking of cutting my grass...
Why is it that I was worried about being the one whose yard would always need to be cut among the houses on either side of me, yet even in the unkempt raining-daily-for-a-week shagginess of it, my grass still appears to be in the best shape, yet it is still KILLING me?
- Why do I long for the days when I had a job that didn't make every move to make it look like it hated me?
- Is it wrong that whenever I ask anyone something and they preempt answering what I asked with what they chose to answer first, I make them repeat not only what they offered, but what the fuck I asked for as well?
- I am wondering what I can get as the new Best Blogger Alive?
- I wonder how long it will be before my supervisor mentions something to me about the fact that I did not grant her Facebook friend request and have no stated or otherwise intentions on ever doing so?
- Why do people answer with "I knew you were gonna ask me that" or something like "you always ask that," instead of ANSWERING THE FUCKING QUESTION?!!?
- Am I the only one who cringes REALLY hard immediately upon hearing a foreign accent when even the most rudimentary of instructions are to be given while I am at work, or am I just plain racist?
- Does it help me to not be racist if I explain that I cringe the same whenever I hear a group of black people talking about the current president?
- Am I wrong for immediately thinking about the "Fat Baby" episodes of Maury Povich when I saw the news splash with the 19-pound Indonesian baby last week?
- How is that, while Reality TV on the whole has worn thin on me, that I can still watch Tool Academy without issue?
- Is it wrong that I try to avoid going to Wal Mart/the grocery store during the first week of the month, and that fact has NOTHING to do with the fact that they don't run real sales during that week?
Is it wrong of the grocers that they DON'T run real specials during the first week of the month for the same reason I try to avoid the stores?
- Did anyone who doesn't live with me catch the common bond there?
- Who doesn't love getting free shit?
- Is it so wrong that sometimes I want to play Scrabble whilst taking a crap?
- Did anyone get their Obama reparations check yet, or were they all signed over to the banks before he took office?
- Why do I have this sneaking suspicion that ANYONE not named LeBron will be blamed when the Cavaliers do not win it all this year?
- Does anyone still write in cursive these days?
- I just created a new term -- "Alcoholic Savant," where many around me know me as a bit of an angry drunken asshole, but at moments I can full-on kick knowledge as well... How well will this go over?
- Why is asking these random questions to no one in particular so fun?
- Does anyone notice how bad standup comics get louder instead of getting funnier when on stage?
- Did anyone think of Steve Harvey when I asked that?
- I wonder who actually notices the links I add to my blogs just for the hell of it sometimes?
- Am I rambling now?
- What ever WILL I do on the next one?