True Story©... Back on the Hunt

     Life is hard these days…
Y’all recall clearly back in October when I was fired over titties and not ONE of you came to my aide?
Well, I have been trying with all I can to come up with SOMETHING to do for money in the in-between and still getting no assistance from any of my readers, but somehow I have managed to make due.

     Well I finally got an interview!
After 3 months now of throwing my resumé EVERYWHERE I thought it would stick, I finally earned myself a call back from a company not far from my house.  That would be a plus, compared to the 23+ mile commute I had been up against for the previous several years.

     Nerves dragged me out of my bed last week at 5am, I showered and brushed my hair, ironed my clothes, brushed up on rehearsed interview responses front-loaded on me by my lady.  The interview was set for 8:30am, which gave me time to drop my daughter off at school and show up to the interview approximately ten minutes early prepared for battle.

     All good right?
Yeah, about that…

     The interview is going swimmingly, I got this in the bag.  I got it made, right?  I have built an amazing rapport with the manager supervising me.  We’re at the point where I am comfortable poking fun at him for being left-handed and we’ve discussed sports and the unpredictable NC weather, we’ve laughed and gotten off of then quickly back on topic.  I got this MADE, right?

Interviewer: “So I see you were with [company] for almost 11 years and you left in October.”
Me: “That’s correct.”
Interviewer: “And you’ve been between jobs since then.”
Me: “Unfortunately and quite difficultly, yes sir.”
Interviewer: “What was the reason you left?”
Me: “Oh, trust, I didn’t want to go at all.”
Interviewer: “Oh really, what happened?”
Me: “I was let go.”
Interviewer: “Was there a reason given?”
Me: “Well…  It’s kind of complicated, and a HUGE misunderstanding, an embarrassing one at that.”
Interviewer: “I see.  Well how about this.  I will share with you a story a friend of mine with your old company told me about someone in some other department told him.”

Something in my head KNEW where this shit was going.

Me: “Shoot.”
Interviewer: “Okay, so a buddy of his had a department full of women and one male, right?”
Me: “Yeah?”
Interviewer: “Yeah, so one day the guy is chatting up one of his female coworkers one morning.”
Me: “Sounds innocent enough, but the news of these days doesn’t bode well for where this might go.”
Interviewer: “Yeah, well in the middle of the conversation, this guy--…  Can I be frank?”
Me: “We’re basically friends now.”
Interviewer: “Cool…  So in the middle of this sidebar conversation, this guy just yells ‘TITTIES’ to this woman!”

Fuck my fucking life…  This shit is going to haunt me for fucking EVER, isn’t it?

Me: *stone face*
Interviewer: “Is that not HILARIOUS?!!?”
Me: *looks away*
Interviewer: “w-wait…  No?”

I was defeated, I just started packing up my shit and putting my resume in the notebook I have habitually carried into job interviews through the years.

Interviewer: “You mean to tell me--…”
Me: “Look.  I want the world to understand the innocence with which the phrase actually came out of my mouth.  I am happily involved with someone and did not want the woman in any capacity, I just had a brainfart.”
Interviewer: “What could possibly cause such a lapse in one’s filter though?”
Me: “Sir…  If I had the answer to that question, I might not be here in your office today.”
Interviewer: “I see.”
Me: “So, is this something that will be held against me, or do I have a chance at a new beginning with you here?”
Interviewer: “Well, I have two more interviews scheduled for today and have to submit my opinions to my manager by Friday for a final decision.”
Me: “So I should expect a yes/no by…?”
Interviewer: “I’d say Monday?”
Me: “Thank you, sir”

With that, we ended with a handshake and I was shown out by his assistant.
     That was last Monday…  It has been ten days, I am at the point in the interaction now where I am basically sure that I ain’t getting that call back.

What does this have to do with y’all?

I am still soliciting donations.
Anyone…  ANYONE?


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