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True Story©... Holiday Conundrum Pt II - The Conclusion

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  [ Phlip note : if you weren't here last week, please start there before continuing ] Welcome back... Me: "'Fuck you mean *I* gotta fix the future of Christmas!?" Santa: "You're the one who told me to go and get these Big Dick--..." Me: "... no--..." Santa: "Dig Bick Throbbers. You talked me into going to get these things. Now they're clearly sending my elves into cardiac trauma and it is up to you to fix it." Me: "Have you considered taking away their narcotics, and maybe -- I'ono -- SOLVE the problem?" Santa: "It's too late for that now!" Me: "Dude, you said you could get through Christmas '25 and the real issue is down the road. That means you have--..." Santa: "... WE!!!" Me: "YOU have time. I work an office job and do landscaping. You're Santa fuckin Claus, the one with the magic and shit. Remember that wild ass- bag of coal you gave me that time?" Santa: ...
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True Story©... The Big Payoff pt X

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“this orgy ain’t fun no more…” (if only I’d have known how prophetic those words would become)      The funny thing about the government getting involved in shit is how quick they are to complain about the media meddling in shit while pretending not to know that the media is the VERY official but unstated fourth branch of the government. But let them be the one driving the narrative and the media they just hated are their best fucking friends.      I got shook down and, let’s face it, robbed by two rogue FBI inspectors who quite apparently entered no paperwork on their interaction with me as they tried to get my source of income and not do what was right by the American people as far as national security goes.  And I KNOW I was dead wrong… …  at least I know now.  When I was at it, all I knew is that I was trying to make the best of a bad situation of my own design.  Domestic and international laws wer...
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