The musings of a madman...

**********Sometimes...********** I mistake Donald Faison for Todd Bridges... ... fuck, I guess black people DO look alike. **********NEVER!!!********** Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Count toothpicks to your cards. Autistic, sure. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. Then there was Sean Penn in ‘I Am Sam.’ He went full retard. Left the Oscars empty-handed. You went full retard, man. NEVER go full retard. **********Maybe I'm Dwelling...********** ... but maybe I am fed the fuck up, d'yathink??? I mean, I had my issue with "single ladies," but now this dizzy broad is claiming "a diva is the female version of a hustler"? I mean, perhaps I have been wrong all my life, but my understanding was that "hustlers" got the fuck up, got ou...

So, the lady got me a couple of model cars for Valentine's, and I decided that I would set about the task of putting one of them together this morning at work... Enter, Mercedes Benz CLK-GTR: Step one, open the box and realize just how few pieces the kit consists of: Step two, hang doors, snap in windshield and roof scoop, exterior almost done: Next, install front grille and head/city lights: Place steering wheel into dash, then dash into interior, then interior onto frame: Body onto frame, twist 3 screws: Choose silver wheels to mount instead of gold because the gold looked silly on the silver car (I MIGHT use them for the Chrysler ME 4-12 she got me though, it's black) Finito: Total time - about an hour, all while actually working... I probably could have knocked it out in 15-20 minutes uninterrupted. I like it a lot, I am already having thoughts of copping a few more in the near future.

Took the camera into the kitchen with me today for one of those things that I do often... Today will be baked pasta. There are not many ways that one can fuck this up, but there are MANY ways to make it better, and I have spent quite a while making it out to my own standards. Some of the things I use are not "standards," with regards to how one may do this themselves. Fact, here is that there are variations on it and I am not sure that it comes out the same every time. Let's start with a toolkit... Hardware: Cast iron pan, fresh out the sink (yes, it is older than my 35 year-old sister): The tool of choice for John Rambo and allegedly Orenthal James Simpson: Long handle spoon for stirring: Spatula: Kickass motherfucking can opener: 4-qt pots, 2 of them: Long baking pan: Colander: Food Stuffs: Ground Turkey, 2 pounds: (you can use beef, you can also boil or bake then dice chicken) Diced onions, I only used one of these: (I used pre-cut diced yellow onions, which also come ...

Spoke with Maria not long ago about her messenger status on Google Chat, and I was SUPPOSED to have come home that night and looked for some videos. Lo and behold, often times I usually do SO much between work and arriving home, I usually forget conversations that took place earlier in the day... In such, January 28th becomes February 14th and I only JUST get around to it. Better late than never when it is in the name of hilarity. Anyone remember the Reagan-era ONDCP anti-drug Public Service announcements that used to come on ABC during Saturday Morning Cartoons? I sure as hell do. I will share some of with you as well, though I have been yet unable to locate my 2 favorites just yet. We can NOT forget the CROWN FUCKING JEWEL of the collection: On the whole, I am pretty sure that these things did little to nothing in the lines of keeping us away from drugs, but DAMN do they make for an entertaining adulthood, all things considered. Again, there have been a couple that I can't find, ...

Spending so much of my time in front of a computer during the day, text messaging, and speaking to people verbally, I have come to realize that my mind handles things QUITE oddly sometimes. This conspires to severely fuck how I process typed words or how intently I listen to someone. F'rinstance shorthand type in text/internet messaging; I hate it with a burning fucking passion, and the asshole in me rears it's head when I read certain things: "u" is not read as "you," instead processes itself as "ooh." "y" is never seen as "why," instead is taken as if in Spanish, "and." "ur" never comes off as "your," instead pronounces itself in my mind (think like the suffix) "er" I really can't explain WHY I do this, it is just kinda funny THAT I do it, and I do it ALL THE DAMNED TIME, no less... I think it is my mind subconsciously creating a world where anyone who can't AT LEAST TYPE A ...

Yeah, back to the business of things... What has been on my mind today? Thanks for asking, as here it all is ahead of you... Enjoy! **********Laughable...******** ** They spring more and more evidence on Roger Clemens, Alex Rodriguez comes out and admits to using steroids, as does Miguel Tejada, but they still seem to want to somehow turn the shit back to Barry Bonds. It reminds me oddly of the GWB push for war in Iraq, how he would NOT mention it without somehow tying it to 9/11. No matter how much CONFIRMED bad has been done by the people whose stories are hot and current, we are not to forget who the REAL bad guy is, Barry Lamar Bonds. **********Dear Michael Bay...********** ... you dodged a bullet, literally and figuratively with the last transformers movie... I am promising you, that if Devastator, which originally looked like this: ... comes off looking like this, as has been rumored: ... you will be the Rihanna to my Chris Brown, motherfucker. Love, Phlip **********When y...

Some of you already know these things, some of these things aren't so weird, some are just downright STRANGE... I mainly use but 2 condiments: Texas Pete Hot Sauce Kraft 3-Cheese Ranch I order spinach on deli sandwiches instead of lettuce, ALL THE TIME... I eat my side items before eating main dishes almost all the time. I have a specific order for my tabs in FireFox to be open, if anything upsets that, I close it and open again in proper order. Gmail, Zilvia, MySpace (at home, MSN at work), YouTube and then any other variables, which are handled and then closed. I type things I might need to remember for later in an email draft, then handle it later. I do this for blogs I will post when I get home, pictures I might need to share, or just a means of reminding myself of shit. I am VERY strict about spelling, punctuation and grammar, even in text messages. I know that I have 160 characters to send one from my phone, but I make a point of punctuating sentences, spelling full words a...

Yeah, I promised over on the MySpace Blog that this was coming, and now is the time... For a long time, I told myself that I would not be the one to maintain a journal, or a blog, then I looked up one day and had a few readers, a while later I had more, up to the current count of 23 (yes, 23, in the face of my "7 readers" joke). I think that means that people are either waiting patiently for my implosion or are actually interested in my usually random-assed rants and off-color humor. I noticed as well that while my MySpace PAGE had 7 thousand and something views, my MySpace BLOG was nearing 11k. As a writer, I liked the exposure and my page and blog are both public for that very reason. I will still maintain the page, of course, as I do like to openly converse with folks because, well frankly, MySpace has a few hundred million members, basically an open network for the attention one may need. My blogs there will more than likely be cross posts from here from now on. You can...