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True Story©... The Snap Back

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       I seriously hate when things I thought I had dispatched of boomerang right back to me. I hate worse when those things happen to mix themselves with what I've had going on in the meantime before returning. Worst of all, I hate when the shit happens REAL quickly. My doorbell rang... Me: "Nonono, nope... Not doing this again!" Them: "But I NEED you!" Me: "You just finished wasting my time in February , what the hell is it now?" Ramsbottom: "Sadly, it's--…" Me: "Dammit to hell! Dig Bick Throbbers again!?" Ramsbottom: "God, I hate having to come to you with th--…" Me: "… aight, you be easy. Sticky side down, shiny side up." I attempted to step back into the house and close the door to return to work. Ramsbottom: "They're not even trying to hide this time. They're back to the old name and all." Me: "Well we established that they're protected by a power apparently greater than t...
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How to have a baby... LIKE A BOSS

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Fun fact: On June 22, 2011 there was not a SINGLE baby item in my house… Then I left work on June 23, 2011. As ever, I jumped in the car, picked up my mother and took her home. As I walked in the house, Katie was ending a call and advised me that she was pregnant. To those who know what we WERE planning, this was a ton of bricks on the both of us. For the entire of the prior 7 months, Katie was planning for a bariatric surgery and had a schedule date of 06/28. The pregnancy test that had (now) cancelled surgery was a part of the pre-surgery performed on EVERY woman scheduled to have it. As active and consenting adults, the disappointment of this happening when it happened was one thing, but the urgency of planning for a baby overrides such sensibilities. We went to premarital counseling immediately upon receipt of the news and started planning. OB appointment set for the following week to establish how far along we are and begin some REAL planning for this. ...
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In the kitchen with Phlip -- Bread Pudding

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I know what you're thinking "shut the hell up, Phillip, you don't bake!" ... and you would be right in that observation.  I usually don't, but I was up yesterday morning watching the Food Network and I had a couple of dollars to buy myself something, so I went down to the grocery store and made some plans. Start with a flat of crack cocaine King's Hawaiian rolls And dice them up Then a container of grocery store Croissants Dice them up too, put them in the same bowl and toss them together to mix Rub the pan you will use with butter, put all the diced bread in it and set it aside Genuine Swiss white chocolate bar Once you hit it with the knife, it will start breaking up nicely, get it as fine as possible Put it in a bowl, add semi-sweet chocolate chips (or chocolate/peanut butter if you're me) and toss to mix (sorry, forgot to photograph them "tossed," the white chocolate is underneath) Spread them on top of and...
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