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True Story©... The Mechanic

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"Bro, I need some advice real quick." Ahh shit... I know how this goes. Me: "Does that 'advice' involve my cashapp account?" Him: "Nah, I'm up right now and that's kinda the problem." Me: "Oh, this should be good. What's up?" Him: "So my neighbor, the--..." Me: "The hot headed wee feller that is aggressively balding in his 20s? The one with the V6 charger racing Altimas on Randleman Road." Him: "Hahaha, that's the one. He called me this morning." Me: "From next door? What for!?" Him: "From Sycamore Street." Me: "Oh shit... What he done did now? They finally get him for street racing?" Him: "Nah... Assault, but it does involve that stupid ass car." Me: "He tried the wrong Altima and got his feelings hurt and hit somebody baby mama?" Him: "Somehow this is worse than that fully unhinged but somehow completely plausible idea you're...
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Hotep Proposals

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     We’ve gone on about the need for the strong Black family unit capitalizing on the fact that potential queens outnumber available kings by a wide margin.  No need to present any figures on that one, just believe it. Or research it yourself and come back here when you’re ready.      Heck, we even wrote a beautiful  poem  about it one time. But the question seems to remain for some reason, “how?” We’ve decided that today will be the day we focus on the answer to that question.      First thing’s first… You have to find the first one and work from there.  Meet her wherever you meet women.  The mall,  Wal Mart  Target, HBCU Homecomings, churches, WHEREVER. That’s the easy part.  The hard part, now is getting her on board with your vision.  You’re going to have to sell her some dreams.  “Dreams,” as things so happen to be, are prett...
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True Story©... Old Habits Die Hard

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     Broke…  Bored…  A little angry at the world in general because shit ain’t quite working out to be just what I feel like it should be.  All I can do is work toward making what I want of the world, I guess. Luckily for me I glean entertainment from the world around me most of the time and I have a network of people who are full-on invited to GET mad at me, but none of them can really STAY mad at me.  That said, I got a phone call… Me: “Hello?” Caller: “Phlip--…  Wait, before you hang up on me man.  You Still mad at me?” Me: “Why the shit would I be mad at you, Marlon?” Marlon: “Well…  You went to pretty extreme lengths to get me back for that dough I costyou last time we spoke.” Me: “Well…  I guess for that I could see myself still mad.  BUT!  I think I have exacted the lesson you needed to learn.” Marlon: “Cool, because I kinda missed coolin’ out and shit.” Me: “Whoa, Marls…  You been in pri...
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