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"Mike Jordan of Rap"

At some point in the not-too-distant past, Kanye Zest dubbed himself as the "Mike Jordan of rap" at some point in his career. I thought about this for some reason yesterday/last night while I was out and about and went more in on it as the evening progressed and it came to me that he was actually being his normal full of shit self when he said that, and that Jay-Z was actually the rightful "Mike Jordan of Rap," not Kanye... After noticing that he (Jay-Z) was totally absent from the Hip Hop Honors last night, I was in the shower last night and I was thinking "well damn, I might have a point there." [ Phlip note - a LOT of what I think about in the shower realizes blog infamy, just for the record] Sure, Kanye meant it as to say that he was the greatest of all time, which flies in the face of those who did it before him and who will come along to do it after him. Of course, being that we're all stupid fucking consumers, we were supposed to not notice the...
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True Story©… A Very Merry Woodpenis Christmas

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       “Frenemies” If you have ever watched Justified on FX as I did when I binged all six seasons and the whole of the spinoff a few months ago, you know what that is.   As you may or not be aware, I have made a bit of one of those in our own local law enforcement here lately.   I promise shit didn’t start out that way, but a strange series of mishaps made that bed for me.      I recently gained the knowledge that he may be finally cutting me loose in order to move on a little further.   Part of me is glad to have him out of my ass – pun intended – but part of me will miss having a local law man who owes me favors so big that he has to honor requests or perhaps have a conversation with Internal Affairs. It all started last month with a phone call… Me: “You know if you keep this up, we are gonna have to sit down and discuss our thing with my wife.” Woodpenis: “Well if things go to plan, we might not need to have that ...
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True Story©... Date Night

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      It's spring, y'all, that means I'm back cutting grass for the money… Not that I'm hurting for cash in a two-income household, but I really do love the additional cash in hand if I wanna just up and grab me and/or Wife Person™ a new pair of Nikes or just be like "cover up your titties and put on some shoes, we going to eat something good" on a Sunday morning without first checking my account balance.      Which brings us to last Friday… I got off at 5 and did a quick first-cut on a new client, took me an hour including travel back home. Barely broke a sweat, didn't even unload when I got to the house, just locked up and ran in the house to wash up real quick and told Wife Person™ let's go eat. Her: "Where we going?" Me: "Put your shoes on and get in that white station wagon out there." She stopped asking questions and put on her shoes. I threw mine on and off we were!      At an to-remained-unnamed restaurant, we were seate...
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