The Questions

1. At what point do people stop counting their childrens' age in months and start telling us how old the fucking child is?
   
   
   "how old is your daughter?"
   
   "oh, she's 43 months"
   
   

   BITCH, SHE'S THREE!!!
   
   
   
2. Why the fuck didn't your ugly-ass mom use birth control?
   
   
   
3. Why do people have such a hard time respecting other peoples' right to not give a fuck?
   F'rinstance, someone injures themselves, or are otherwise in some kind of agony as a result of their own designs... Now you have to listen to them go on and on and fucking on about how sore they are, how badly injured they've become or whatever.
   
   Please, just shut the fuck up and get through it.
   
   
   
4. What self-respecting barber expecting to take in new business would still give someone a flattop in 2009?
   
   Yes, I saw one Monday, and no I did not take a picture because I would have had to kick his ass for photographing the tragedy that was his haircut.
   
   
   
5. Why the fuck don't your kids have to play outside in the 1000° sun every day like we did back in the 80's?
   
   
   
6. Do they still do free lunch in the city parks like they did when we were kids, or has the fact that you're not allowing (or making) your kids actually play outside killed that?
   
   
   
7. "Reality" TV... I was hooked for a minute there, but now I beginning to feel more and more like they're jumping the fucking shark. When will this shit end?
   
   
   
8. NBA Finals start one week from today... That means I have as few as 2 and as many as 3 weeks left of basketball, then 4.5 uncomfortable months of baseball to tide me over. Just what in the FUCK am I gonna do?
   
   
   
9. Why are people still trying to convince me that wack new rappers are the best thing out just because 90% of the shit getting burn on the radio sucks too?
   Is this some kind of Jedi Mind Trick -- "[rapper] doesn't suck, he is a fresh face and doesn't sound like anything else on the radio" -- intended to draw my attention from the fact that they actually are fucking BORING?
   
   
   
10. Why did I jam my pinky playing ball last night, but I am STILL going back and play again tonight?
    
    
    
11. Why did I see some little girls doing the "Chicken Noodle Soup" a couple of Saturdays ago and it made me want to slap their mothers?
    
    
    
12. Remember when cartoons were violent, racist and displayed generally poor taste?
    Was there any question that those facts made them funny as FUCK?!!?
    
    
    
13. What have I done that white Jesus is not allowing me to win the lottery?
    
    
    
14. How come no one is talking about the swine flu this week?
    
    
    
15. Am I wrong for desiring better public transit where I live, yet at the same time NOT wanting it because it would cause close quarters with people I would likely want to kill to death?
    
    
    
16. Why the fuck is this damned day going by so slowly?
    
    
    

I'm sure I have more questions to ask, but that is all I will endeavor for the time being.