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True Story©... Holiday Conundrum Pt II - The Conclusion

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  [ Phlip note : if you weren't here last week, please start there before continuing ] Welcome back... Me: "'Fuck you mean *I* gotta fix the future of Christmas!?" Santa: "You're the one who told me to go and get these Big Dick--..." Me: "... no--..." Santa: "Dig Bick Throbbers. You talked me into going to get these things. Now they're clearly sending my elves into cardiac trauma and it is up to you to fix it." Me: "Have you considered taking away their narcotics, and maybe -- I'ono -- SOLVE the problem?" Santa: "It's too late for that now!" Me: "Dude, you said you could get through Christmas '25 and the real issue is down the road. That means you have--..." Santa: "... WE!!!" Me: "YOU have time. I work an office job and do landscaping. You're Santa fuckin Claus, the one with the magic and shit. Remember that wild ass- bag of coal you gave me that time?" Santa: ...
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True Story©... The Mechanic

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"Bro, I need some advice real quick." Ahh shit... I know how this goes. Me: "Does that 'advice' involve my cashapp account?" Him: "Nah, I'm up right now and that's kinda the problem." Me: "Oh, this should be good. What's up?" Him: "So my neighbor, the--..." Me: "The hot headed wee feller that is aggressively balding in his 20s? The one with the V6 charger racing Altimas on Randleman Road." Him: "Hahaha, that's the one. He called me this morning." Me: "From next door? What for!?" Him: "From Sycamore Street." Me: "Oh shit... What he done did now? They finally get him for street racing?" Him: "Nah... Assault, but it does involve that stupid ass car." Me: "He tried the wrong Altima and got his feelings hurt and hit somebody baby mama?" Him: "Somehow this is worse than that fully unhinged but somehow completely plausible idea you're...
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In the Kitchen with Phlip -- BAWLS!

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Meatballs, that is. Warning, there might be gratuitous innuendousness in this post. Every Tuesday for the past 5 (going on 6) weeks now, I have made meatballs from ground chicken/turkey sausage.  These were the ones I made two weeks ago.  Each time I have come up with a different sauce to cook them in, only once has that sauce been a standard red spaghetti sauce. Ground Chicken/turkey meatballs in a cheese sauce Cast of characters: Cream of Chicken and Cheddar Cheese soups, cheese of your choice and chicken broth Diced peppers/onions One pound of ground chicken, one pound of turkey sausage, you can use beef and pork if you eat those.  I do not And dice up some turkey bacon in your chopper (optional).  Naturally, you can use regular bacon if you eat red meat Toss in the pepper mixture... ... and some bread crumbs grate a little of that Gouda you had in the fridge and need to use (optional) Two eggs (or one egg for every pound of meat) g...
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