Is it Trickin'? Lessons from our Elders

     You ever listen to two old men bragging about being sugar daddies?  Like that is some shit to be PROUD of?

I am getting gas on my way to my sister’s a couple Sundays ago.  The station I went to was one of those Asian-owned joints with the illegal video poker machines in the corner.  Stationed at two of the five machines were two old (65-70ish) men, each nursing a Miller Lite (before noon on a Sunday!) and chatting each other up the way boys tend to do when they’re drinking and playing.

     I was grabbing a drink for myself in addition to gas, so I had to go right by the duo and their conversation was HILARIOUS to me.  My nosy ass slow-walked to the case and fiddled with my phone for a reason to listen to them trying to impress one another for women that weren't around anyway.

#1: “Sheeeeeit, n**ga.  I got me a coupla dem young tenders right now.  Them young girls love me man!”
#2: “I hear you”
#1: “Just like I told my grandson a couple days ago, it don’t matter if I got game…  I got a Cadillac and a got-damn pension.”
#2: “Hell yeah.  I got a couple of 'em out here too.  I seen this one in here the other day paying her light bill.  I picked it up for her.”

See, I waited to see if he would describe having done anything other than having paid a bill for an attractive young lady.  None came connected to his description of THAT interaction.

#1: “Damn straight.  ‘What bill you need daddy to pick up this month baby?’”
#2: “They LOVE that shit.”
#1: “Had me this one 25 year-old in the Wal Marks [sic] with her kids, I’m like ‘put that EBT up, lemme get dis’”
#2: “Works every time.  Them young boys just don’t know shit.  These lil girls don’t care bout swaggin pants or none of this rappit rap shit they be talkin’…  Just pay a bill.  She’ll call you e’ry month.”

Let me interject here that the conversation of old negroes and younger people is WILDLY different and has evolved over the years, f’rinstance the words used to describe certain things has apparently reversed.

#1: “That’s why they don’t know nothin’ bout no cock.”

[Phlip note: See?  Old negroes refer to vagina as “cock,” whereas younger individuals refer to the OPPOSITE as such.  Ask an old negro why this is and he will insult you instead of explaining]

#2: “These young boys don’t know nothin’ BOUT no cock.”

I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall of the gas station to hear more of this miserable sick sad-ass conversation, hearing these old men brag about “cock” that their chronological age and physical conditioning is likely preventing them from collecting in exchange for throwing good money at someone who might have squandered it on some other bullshit.

     Anyway, not my monkeys, not my circus.  I pumped my gas and went on about my day.  I just thought it was funny.


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