I don’t like going out in public… It isn’t so much that I am antisocial – well I kinda am, but I fuck with who I fuck with and that makes a huge difference – but I have also done an absolute lifetime's worth of fuckshit in the community as the two of you have read in these pages in just the past two years. One of my greatest fears is that I will be out with Wife Person™ and or my little one and something that they don’t know I have done comes face-to-face with me. Don’t tell THEM that, but that is partially why I am so reluctant to go out and be places. … so I am in The Walmarks a couple of weeks ago, minding my own business, collecting things for the Superbowl party and I hear someone in the distance calling apparently for me… Voice: “S’cuse me. Aye man! AYE!!!” Me: “You talking to me?” Him: “Yeah, yeah man… Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Me: “I’on think I know you bro.” Him: “Yeah, ain’t yo name like–… Somethin’ weird, like Fap Fappington or something like
Kids are, well, kids… I say that to say they’re loud, they talk too much, they’re restless, they test boundaries and they have not yet learned that it is not normal to repeat EVERYTHING they hear. [ Phlip note : to that last point, and given my breaking out into song with the last thing said to me, maybe I am still a kid? ] I say all that to say that the raising of kids should probably be more metered than the parents of gen-X’ers like myself had available to us. Y’see… I never told anyone this, but before the beard and alcohol, I used to BE a little kid. I was overactive, I talked too much and I had a VIVID fucking imagination. Imagine that, ALL of that. But something was always off, and we would later learn to call that ADHD. There were attempts to control this short of medication (nope, not in the 80s!) and asswhoopings (yes, plenty of THOSE in the 80s!) , and the middle ground that was attempted with me was bribery. I should put “bribery” in quotation mark
Must have been a slow news week for the president. Well, there is the very real reality of a wholly avoidable church shooting that totally happened on his watch, the issue of an electorate that is rebelling against him as evidenced in the outcomes of many off-year elections around the country and the fact that this tax plan is very obviously an expensive “fuck you” to most Americans. So, he refrained from talking about most of that in the news this week. I checked the back-channel Twitter to see what he and his ghost writers were cooking up this week and it appears that they were pretty silent on the issues this week too. A bunch of weird sexual double entendres, not much more of substance… Banal sex… Banal. Fucking. Sex?!!? I would be inclined to think this set was pretty soft overall, but those two words may have saved the entire species.