I got some questions!

Not a lot to talk about that interests me in the news, I may touch on that over the course of, and I am not feeling specifically (see, that's how you use that word!) creative today, so I will sit and randomly ask fucking questions...
Hell, I might even answer a few too, if I decide I am feeling generous.

  • If I go to the bar, and I am playing a game of Foosball, and a fight breaks out, then the fight expands to include all (or most, or perhaps even several) of the patrons of the bar...
    Does that count as a bar fight or a soccer riot?
  • If someone comes up to me and begins telling me a story that I am not interested in, yet my obvious disinterest does not serve as their cue to knock it off...
  • Do I TELL them that they're not properly respecting my right to not give a fuck, do I physically attack them for raping my time, or do I randomly change the subject to things that they (and perhaps even I) just don't give a mad assfuck about?
  • Why was this day going by so fast, then as soon as 1:30 came about slowed the fuck down so badly?
  • Do Budweiser and Miller/Coors realize how bad an idea that raising their prices would be? I mean, without that the lower price point, there would be no redeeming reasoning for the average beer drinker to buy their swill.

  • Is it just me, or did the Ohio Players have the SEXIEST album covers of the 70s?

  • Seriously, is it basketball season yet? And no, WNBA basketball does not count (no crying game).

  • I think I read somewhere last week that black people don't learn to swim because of mothers who don't want their daughters' hair to get wet, then those daughters grow up to adults who don't want their hair to get wet, then into mothers who don't want their daughters' hair to get wet -- all while the boy children are in this matriarchal hell where the aforementioned vicious cycle keeps THEM from learning to swim... Is that bullshit true?

  • How come no one is talking about that girl that Ted Kennedy killed in the car he crashed and left, only notifying the proper authorities about the wreck after some fishermen found the car the next day?

  • I wonder how much I should ask my sister for in our bet about which Jackson sibling would try cash in first, LaToya or Tito? Yeah, I know that his other brothers appear to be involved as well, but the bet was LaToya or Tito, no other details were discussed, so I win.

  • How much longer am I going to have to deal with this slavery-hot summer? Are the powers that preside over this shit aware that my car does not have AC?

  • Why do people look at me like some kind of alien when I tell them that I am not exactly excited about Jay-Z's new album? I mean, even when they ask me why, I can readily name The Blueprint 2, The Blueprint 2.1 and Kingdom Come, yet they still don't seem to get it.

  • Do y'all know how hard this whole "no cable/internets at home" shit is? I mean, I can live one without the other, but without both I want to cry!
    Should be all together this afternoon, then all will be returned to normal, and I can look at images of nekkid wimmenz in peace... Don't judge me.

  • If moving sucks so much, why in the fuck have I done it twice in the last 5 weeks?

  • Am I really just a crotchety old man, or is music really so deep in the shitter that, even in spite of a stellar product from Slaughterhouse, I still have no faith in its recovery from the deathbed?

  • Who knew that the key to my getting a good night's sleep was for me to actually stay up LONGER? I mean, a couple nights kicking off before 10pm, I slept like shit, but staying up late last night to work on unpacking and moving some shit around, I slept great.

  • Is anyone still reading this shit?

  • Am I the only one who isn't really excited about football season?

  • Who knew that eating spinach every day for over a week would make one so absolutely regular?

  • Whose idea was it that the word "regular" would apply to someone who can go squeeze one out daily?

  • I wonder if anyone has any questions for me?

  • Did I blow out all my creative juices writing earlier in the month?

  • I guess, I should go ahead and end this thing now, huh?


Kousen Tora said…
Answer 1: By rules and location, it counts as a bar fight

Answer 2: I prefer the all of the above method. But sneak the beatdown after you walk away and they're no longer paying attention to you.

Answer 6: I hate to say it, but I think it is. After a certain point (age 10 I think), 99.91% of Black Women will not go swimming. They will only go to look cute. And it is this same reason they will not get caught dead in a convertible.

Answer 9: At least until mid-October

Answer 13: Nope because I am right there with you!!!

Answer 15: Of course and I even answered a few of them

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