So you mean to tell me...

That all it takes to kill one of these stupid-ass reality shows is for someone to be found dead?

VH1 -- who has had WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better programming than MTV or Black Embarrassment Television for about 5 years by my count, word to the former ego trip magazine -- has been jumping the shark TERRIBLY for about 3 of those years now with this reality dating show nonsense. It has become so bad that the LOSERS of these shows are given their own shows. Then some wholly terrible shit like Ray J getting his own show happens, and I am willing to bet that he will milk another series out of this shit too.

Personal feelings on coonin' aside, sometimes I find it hard NOT to watch these shows, occurrences of scantily clad women with large cans will do that to a heterosexual man. That is not what this blog is about, though.

In one of the myriad of spinoffs of Flavor of Love, itself a sendup of The Bachelor, we find ourselves with a loser of not one but THREE VH1 shows; Rock of Love, Rock of Love Charm School and I Love Money (see, I told you this shit was out of hand), Megan in her quest to make good on some shit she said on I Love Money, that she sees her future as being a "top of the line trophy wife," which I KNEW would find a show of its own as soon as she said it. This show, Megan Wants a Millionaire was confirmation that we're all going to fucking hell.
The problem with these shows is their popularity, which I can only explain off as the "train wreck" entertainment model, in that we KNOW we shouldn't be watching this shit, but waiting on something bad to happen is overriding, and happen it ALWAYS does.

Never has anything THIS bad happened though. By "THIS bad," I mean to the point where they had to postpone the series, then cancel the sumbitch only 3 episodes in...
Some of you may have read or seen on the news, but it seems that one of the desperate-for-attention gentlemen who did not win the show went to Vegas just after shooting closed, met a woman and married her within a couple of weeks following. Estrangement ensues, they split and apparently link back up, then she gets found in a suitcase stuffed in a trash bin with no fingers or teeth attached, and homeboy is nowhere to be found (source).
Conjecture serves it that he was seen leaving the Pacific Northwest and entering Canuckistan at about the same time that he was officially named as a person of interest in the model chick's death, and the show was placed on indefinite postponement on the 19th of August.
He was formally charged on the 20th -- still hadn't been seen -- and I knew that we'd all but seen the last of this piece of shit show. Then it was found that he had committed the ultimate act of cowardice, in ending himself this weekend (source), and that was confirmation that the show would HAVE to be canceled. Mercifully, it was, and all mentions of it have been disappeared from the air and from the VH1 website, which is fucking SWEET!!!

What's even better is that he'd gone on to participate in I Love Money 3 in the in-between, and the status of even THAT is now up in the air. Word on these skreetz is that he won the money, and went to VH1 and asked for an early cut a couple days before she came up dead. Bare in mind that I read that on Wikipedia, so I am totally not believing it. What I DO know, though, is that for him to be out in Vegas and living like a civilian, he fucked up the surprise on the other show, and if he DID win the money, then VH1 can simply call everyone back in and re-shoot the shit.
In the commission of 2 cowardly acts, this dude might have shaken the foundation of shitty reality television. One can only pray that this signals the incoming of the death knells we will ultimately need, at which point we can lobby to have the NBA season lengthened, and perhaps do something about getting some fucking WRITING back into television.

I mean, the coonin' stopped being all the way entertaining a couple years ago when everyone started doing it, word to Chad Johnson Ochocinco.
There is, though, still hope... Maybe someone will be named as a person of interest in a case involving Real Chance of Love contestants -- or hopefully even the zesty-posturing stars of the show -- maybe New York will crawl back under whatever the fuck rock her ugly ass came from, perhaps Ray J can return to his sister's shadow and be cool with being there and VH1 will stop asking us to believe that this shit is "reality" TV.

Note to VH1 - We're paying attention, please give us more of The White Rapper Show/Miss Rap Supreme and Hip Hop Honors, perhaps a dash of TV's Illest Minority Moments and Race-o-Rama, but you guys are VERY much jumping the shark with these shows you're giving us.

One more day before we have cable and internets in the house... Feel free to contact me in private about the housewarming registry.
No, I am not playing when I say that.


Tony Grands said…
Good drop, Phlip.

Season 1 of "One Shot @ Love w/Tila Tequila" (yeah, you saw it just like me), she kicked off a crazily obsessed redneck. When dude left, he went monkeypoo. Tried to beat up other contestants, & vowed to be back for her "love". Dude even showed back up @ a later date. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't anxiously waiting for bedlam. I knew, years back, that these shows were blurring the boundary between reality & fantasy, & would one day become Richard Dawson's gameshow on "The Running Man". We're not there yet, though.

"Rollerball" starring LL Cool J, anyway?

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