[ Phlip note : if you weren't here last week, please start there before continuing ] Welcome back... Me: "'Fuck you mean *I* gotta fix the future of Christmas!?" Santa: "You're the one who told me to go and get these Big Dick--..." Me: "... no--..." Santa: "Dig Bick Throbbers. You talked me into going to get these things. Now they're clearly sending my elves into cardiac trauma and it is up to you to fix it." Me: "Have you considered taking away their narcotics, and maybe -- I'ono -- SOLVE the problem?" Santa: "It's too late for that now!" Me: "Dude, you said you could get through Christmas '25 and the real issue is down the road. That means you have--..." Santa: "... WE!!!" Me: "YOU have time. I work an office job and do landscaping. You're Santa fuckin Claus, the one with the magic and shit. Remember that wild ass- bag of coal you gave me that time?" Santa: ...
This motherfucker really isn’t going to quit until he tweets us clean off into WWIII, is he? You’re supposed to be the president, off in the news IN ANOTHER COUNTRY talking like you’re trying to cut a WWE promo against Stone Cold Steve Austin in 1999. I figured China had done a good enough job of buttering him up by making him feel like he had gotten his ass kissed, but that apparently didn’t stop him from embarrassing us on the world stage again. With a slow news week again, consisting of not much more than sexual harassment/assault burning Hollywood down, we could expect him to hit out at old targets considering his own past as a pussy grabber and with a pending case of his own. Motherfucker didn't even wait to get off of the plane before getting started. Apple has released a fix to that glitch, Donny. I understand that you have fashioned yourself the smartest person in the world, but we’re having a mighty hard ti...
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