1,295 Days

 America continues to weep for her continued occupation at the highest level.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

True Story©... Holiday Conundrum Pt II - The Conclusion

Image
  [ Phlip note : if you weren't here last week, please start there before continuing ] Welcome back... Me: "'Fuck you mean *I* gotta fix the future of Christmas!?" Santa: "You're the one who told me to go and get these Big Dick--..." Me: "... no--..." Santa: "Dig Bick Throbbers. You talked me into going to get these things. Now they're clearly sending my elves into cardiac trauma and it is up to you to fix it." Me: "Have you considered taking away their narcotics, and maybe -- I'ono -- SOLVE the problem?" Santa: "It's too late for that now!" Me: "Dude, you said you could get through Christmas '25 and the real issue is down the road. That means you have--..." Santa: "... WE!!!" Me: "YOU have time. I work an office job and do landscaping. You're Santa fuckin Claus, the one with the magic and shit. Remember that wild ass- bag of coal you gave me that time?" Santa: ...
Read more

True Story©... The Mechanic

Image
"Bro, I need some advice real quick." Ahh shit... I know how this goes. Me: "Does that 'advice' involve my cashapp account?" Him: "Nah, I'm up right now and that's kinda the problem." Me: "Oh, this should be good. What's up?" Him: "So my neighbor, the--..." Me: "The hot headed wee feller that is aggressively balding in his 20s? The one with the V6 charger racing Altimas on Randleman Road." Him: "Hahaha, that's the one. He called me this morning." Me: "From next door? What for!?" Him: "From Sycamore Street." Me: "Oh shit... What he done did now? They finally get him for street racing?" Him: "Nah... Assault, but it does involve that stupid ass car." Me: "He tried the wrong Altima and got his feelings hurt and hit somebody baby mama?" Him: "Somehow this is worse than that fully unhinged but somehow completely plausible idea you're...
Read more

True Story©... Career Update

Image
I was going to call, I swear! I'm chilling at my desk Monday when the phone rings... Me: "Hello?" Caller: "I just text you a link." Me: "Bro, I found that link last week. I don't use Spotify when Google packages YouTube Music on the Pixel automatically. Also, good morning Jigga--... shit, Jericho Jackson." Jericho: "You can call me Blicky Bobby now." Me: "I will call you by your fucking name." Jericho: "Fine... So..." Me: "'So' what?" Jericho: "So what did you think?" Me: "Y'know what? I'mma give you this assessment one by one.  We'll do it in real time, even though I built these opinions like a week and a half ago." Jericho: "Thank you." I pulled up the EP TrapAllDayAndNight - The Ballad of Blicky Bobby and my notes to compare track name to what I'd intended to say whenever I spoke to him.  I queued all tracks up and hit play... Me: "Track one,...
Read more