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True Story©... The Ride

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       I am an awful liar… I don't mean that as in "I'm awful because I lie a lot," I mean it as in "I am awful at lying" .  Yes, there is absolutely a difference      I tell the band kids all the time to just be straight up with shit, because maintaining a lie is not e'em worth it in the grandest scheme of things.  Something I learned when I was drinking is -- outside of WILDLY entertaining stories -- how hard it is to remember all of the elements of a non-truth when the truth is what actually happened.  You ain't gotta work to remember shit if you stick to what actually happened in the first place. … unless, of course, you can convince yourself that the lie you're telling is the actual truth, in which case congratulations you're a fucking sociopath and master manipulator.      Anyway… I'm just getting off work a couple weeks ago and had to go scout a couple of lawns I cut, plus run quotes on two new ones.  I'm not ...
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True Story... Batter Up!

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       As the two of you may (or probably not) remember, I bumped into a manager from  a company I had previously pulled my time-wasting job interview trick on and wound up getting offered a sham position in order to become eligible to play for their corporate softball league... I am providing passes for forgetting because October was ten months ago, so you can start with this here link and report back to this post to brush up.     Welcome back... Well as promised, I was contacted in late June with my check for seven stacks and a 1099 to file my taxes for an independent contractor position that only technically existed.  In this month and a half since then, I have still not stepped a toe on this company's property since LAST June.  Managing my lawn care schedule and my own work schedule with after-work softball practices and insisting the team meet on Sundays for batting cage visits, I was kind of fashioned as the team's de facto coach....
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Phood Phun with Phlip... Cauliflower Croquettes

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I initially came up with this recipe March 14, 2013. Wait.                 Let me begin by explaining culinary substitutions…  This recipe INITIALLY used leftover mashed potatoes and, since we committed to getting our weight and lab numbers to levels that wouldn’t make our doctors sweat, we had to learn to use other things.  In this case, cauliflower became the move.  No, you cannot expect cauliflower to be potatoes, or even quite taste like them.  Only to take the necessary consistency to stand in for them without containing THIRTY-SEVEN grams of carbohydrates for just one potato in a recipe that would call for at least two or three. Now… I initially came up with the original version of this recipe March 14, 2013 when I was slumming and refusing to throw out leftovers and instead repurposed them. The beauty of this one is that it can (and should) be planned for.  So...
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