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True Story©... Reinvention

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       Where these motherfuckers be getting my number from? I mean with this one, we knew he had my number but I still don't have a damned clue where he got it from. That's right, my phone rang... Me: "Hello?" Caller: "Okay, so you were right." Me: "About what? Whodis?" Caller: "About selling t-shirts not being worth it  That shit was a WHOLE mess." Me: "Jigga--... Y'know what?  I'm not gon' pile on today... Jericho Jackson!" Jericho: "Yeah man..." Me: "So you going to the welding program to get your certificate?" Jericho: "Dafuq? Hell no! I'm going back to rapping!" Me: "Bro, it's been TWO WEEKS!" Jericho: "I know man, but I made sense of the math you gave me and said 'fuck that'." "Me: "Smart...  But also, your raps were ass!" Jericho: "No, my CONCEPT was ass. I'm getting off the Jiggaboo Jackson thing, I told you tha...
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Ghetto-ass names; they're my birth control

I work in a place where I have to actually talk to people from doctors' offices. Often times, I see or hear people with names that cause me to HONESTLY question: what the fuck their parents were thinking when they saddled them with it? if said parents were even a MOMENT over the age of 16 when they named them? are fathers REALLY so pretentious as to need to name their DAUGHTERS after themselves? Enlisting the assistance of The Katie in the name of collection of the names as presented, as well as offering up a few of her own, I have compiled here a list of some of the most egregious of the names I have since come across... If you happen upon this list and find your name, don't take it personally... If you happen upon this list and you see the name of YOUR child, TAKE IT PERSONALLY and apologize to your children as soon as possible. If you've bestowed one of these names upon an as-yet unborn child, please rethink your strategy, use a different and STILL apologize to your chi...
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British Automotive Pr0ns - Lotus Esprit

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The year? That'd be 1972, my parents are still in High School. This is also the year that British automaker, Lotus unveils a concept car at the Turin Auto Show based on a WAAAAAY futuristic at the time face, based upon the Europa chassis. Originally named "Kiwi," but that would be surely shitcanned sometime soon thereafter, seeing as how Lotus cars' names all begin with "E." The car would make production in 1976, and would continue as such in varying levels of advancement until 2004, for a run lasting longer -- and THROUGH -- cars that copied it, including the BMW M1 from earlier today. Aided by being lightweight and being James Bond's car in "The Spy Who Loved Me," the cars were quite popular. They were said to handle and steer like a dream, two attributes that people STILL give up to Lotus even to this day. The years would see changes made in the car's drivetrains and appointments from the hands of 3 different designers and several workin...
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