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True Story©... Career Update

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I was going to call, I swear! I'm chilling at my desk Monday when the phone rings... Me: "Hello?" Caller: "I just text you a link." Me: "Bro, I found that link last week. I don't use Spotify when Google packages YouTube Music on the Pixel automatically. Also, good morning Jigga--... shit, Jericho Jackson." Jericho: "You can call me Blicky Bobby now." Me: "I will call you by your fucking name." Jericho: "Fine... So..." Me: "'So' what?" Jericho: "So what did you think?" Me: "Y'know what? I'mma give you this assessment one by one.  We'll do it in real time, even though I built these opinions like a week and a half ago." Jericho: "Thank you." I pulled up the EP TrapAllDayAndNight - The Ballad of Blicky Bobby and my notes to compare track name to what I'd intended to say whenever I spoke to him.  I queued all tracks up and hit play... Me: "Track one,...
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True Story©... The (In-)Famous Supreme Team!

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  (this pic again?  y'all know what time it is!)      So I'm home Tuesday afternoon, on my lunch break enjoying Monday night's leftovers when the dogs snap to attention. Someone is outside. As a general rule, I don't address people who come to my door without me expecting them unless they're delivering a package -- which kind of means I WAS expecting them -- instead I'll just leave their asses on the porch until they lose interest and move along. I won't even check the camera. This particular visitor, though, they rang the bell four times and then started knocking. "What the hell!?" I say as I go to the door and open it...      Instinctively, I lock the screen door and take a step back when I see one uniformed officer and another man who is clearly law enforcement as well before addressing them. Once I make this maneuver and focus on who is standing on my porch, my expression changes... Me: "Well I'll be damned, never thought I'd s...
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True Story©... The Mechanic

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"Bro, I need some advice real quick." Ahh shit... I know how this goes. Me: "Does that 'advice' involve my cashapp account?" Him: "Nah, I'm up right now and that's kinda the problem." Me: "Oh, this should be good. What's up?" Him: "So my neighbor, the--..." Me: "The hot headed wee feller that is aggressively balding in his 20s? The one with the V6 charger racing Altimas on Randleman Road." Him: "Hahaha, that's the one. He called me this morning." Me: "From next door? What for!?" Him: "From Sycamore Street." Me: "Oh shit... What he done did now? They finally get him for street racing?" Him: "Nah... Assault, but it does involve that stupid ass car." Me: "He tried the wrong Altima and got his feelings hurt and hit somebody baby mama?" Him: "Somehow this is worse than that fully unhinged but somehow completely plausible idea you're...
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