"Bro, I need some advice real quick." Ahh shit... I know how this goes. Me: "Does that 'advice' involve my cashapp account?" Him: "Nah, I'm up right now and that's kinda the problem." Me: "Oh, this should be good. What's up?" Him: "So my neighbor, the--..." Me: "The hot headed wee feller that is aggressively balding in his 20s? The one with the V6 charger racing Altimas on Randleman Road." Him: "Hahaha, that's the one. He called me this morning." Me: "From next door? What for!?" Him: "From Sycamore Street." Me: "Oh shit... What he done did now? They finally get him for street racing?" Him: "Nah... Assault, but it does involve that stupid ass car." Me: "He tried the wrong Altima and got his feelings hurt and hit somebody baby mama?" Him: "Somehow this is worse than that fully unhinged but somehow completely plausible idea you're...
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