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True Story©... The Ride

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       I am an awful liar… I don't mean that as in "I'm awful because I lie a lot," I mean it as in "I am awful at lying" .  Yes, there is absolutely a difference      I tell the band kids all the time to just be straight up with shit, because maintaining a lie is not e'em worth it in the grandest scheme of things.  Something I learned when I was drinking is -- outside of WILDLY entertaining stories -- how hard it is to remember all of the elements of a non-truth when the truth is what actually happened.  You ain't gotta work to remember shit if you stick to what actually happened in the first place. … unless, of course, you can convince yourself that the lie you're telling is the actual truth, in which case congratulations you're a fucking sociopath and master manipulator.      Anyway… I'm just getting off work a couple weeks ago and had to go scout a couple of lawns I cut, plus run quotes on two new ones.  I'm not ...
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True Story©... Shot Shooting

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       He came back, y'all… "Who?" you ask?      Y'all remember back in October when we accidentally turned on the living room TV and I had to go downstairs to turn it off and found an intruder in my living room? This motherfucker had the brazen gall to come back to my house! [ Phlip Note : FWIW, with an update to the Fire TV app, they added a power button and now I can power the TV off from anywhere my wifi reaches ]      This time, though, he was here in the daytime. I'm in the front yard last Wednesday working on one of my signature double-pattern-triple-pass cuts when an old beat up car pulls into my driveway and parks right next to the yard. Apart from me looking at ANYONE who doesn't know me (and most people who DO, for what it matters) sideways when they park in my driveway instead of on the street, it should be noted that I tend to move all cars to the opposite side of the driveway so I can properly turn the mower ...
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Phlip - 1, Black Friday - 0

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            So it’s 4:30pm on Black Friday.  I had successfully managed to not have to leave my house to do anything other than pay a couple of bills as I might do on any payday Friday I should so happen to not have to work.  Hell, it is what I would do if I HAD to work.  Stops also include also payday standards Food Lion and ABC (grocery and liquor for those who don’t live here) for the items I would normally acquire to get me through a weekend.             As my child is still only one year and four months old, she does not yet have the tastes that even MIGHT require that I stand out in the ball-chillingly 25º morning before a store opened to buy her anything.  Responsible adulthood has unlearned me the habit of really wanting many things for myself that aren’t directly tied to the experiences of holding down my house for Ava and my wife.  About noon, coming in f...
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