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True Story©… The Death of the Party

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       Sometimes all it takes to ruin a situation is the situation itself…      We have been in this house for almost 17 months now.  I am a decent neighbor; I KEEP the grass cut, my dogs don’t run loose in the neighborhood, I pull my trash cans up from the street as soon as they have been collected and I don’t shoot in the air on holidays. … but I don’t particularly like people, so the BEST neighborly thing I do is minding my own fucking business and leaving people alone.      My wife, on the other hand, is a peopler and has a gregariousness that would cause me to cower into my mancave and lock the door. Compromise: when she decides to entertain, I will make sure the house is clean while I agree to be at least cordial and attempt to refrain from cursing around children.  No promises on that last one.      In that we are now in a neighborhood of people around our age who have children around the age of the youngest member of our household, her social flag flies higher.  Her hap
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True Story©… Arousing Annoyances

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       I have been aiming too high.   We might call it the curse of American instant gratification. I have been aiming DIRECTLY at Big TV and Hollywood with my writing ideas and the barriers to participation on those stages is higher than others. Perhaps I should have been aiming for lower-hanging fruit, so to speak…  Like, do I REALLY need Hollywood when everyone is carrying around a camera capable of 4K video in their bag or pocket at all times?      The bar for participation in the adult film industry is as simple as starting an OnlyFans or setting up a creator account on a certain popular Adult Content site that I will not name in this sentence so as to not get this story flagged.   Basically you create your content, you agree to some terms and conditions, you monetize your account, you post your content and profit!      As a fatman who is married and not interested in being seen mid-coitus by anyone, none of you need be worried about seeing me in such a position. “So how d
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2012 Election, The Aftermath pt II

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With all eyes on the door to the room, in walks New Jersey Governor, Chris Christie. Chris Christie: “Hi guys!” Mitt: “You sonofabitch! Why the hell did you have to give that--… *looks at Allen West*   Why did you give him a damned reacharound on national TV?” Christie: “Easy, Mittens… I am a sitting Governor, and I have PEOPLE to govern.  If my PEOPLE are in need of help after a natural disaster a week before it gets cold, it serves my own best interest to not be the only house in the state with electricity  Election year politics be damned.” Romney: “But, but… you made him look like a GOOD president!” Christie: “Unfortunate timing I know, but at that moment he WAS doing what good Presidents do.  By the way… I figured you guys might be a little hungry since it IS 4 in the morning, so I brought some donuts.  5 of them are gone, but I only ate 4 myself.  Ron Paul looked pitiful out there, so I gave him the strawberry one out in the hallway.” West: “SHIT!  Strawber
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