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Ghetto-ass names; they're my birth control

I work in a place where I have to actually talk to people from doctors' offices. Often times, I see or hear people with names that cause me to HONESTLY question: what the fuck their parents were thinking when they saddled them with it? if said parents were even a MOMENT over the age of 16 when they named them? are fathers REALLY so pretentious as to need to name their DAUGHTERS after themselves? Enlisting the assistance of The Katie in the name of collection of the names as presented, as well as offering up a few of her own, I have compiled here a list of some of the most egregious of the names I have since come across... If you happen upon this list and find your name, don't take it personally... If you happen upon this list and you see the name of YOUR child, TAKE IT PERSONALLY and apologize to your children as soon as possible. If you've bestowed one of these names upon an as-yet unborn child, please rethink your strategy, use a different and STILL apologize to your chi...
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True Story©... Shot Shootin'

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       He came back, y'all… "Who?" you ask?      Y'all remember back in October when we accidentally turned on the living room TV and I had to go downstairs to turn it off and found an intruder in my living room? This motherfucker had the brazen gall to come back to my house! [ Phlip Note : FWIW, with an update to the Fire TV app, they added a power button and now I can power the TV off from anywhere my wifi reaches ]      This time, though, he was here in the daytime. I'm in the front yard last Wednesday working on one of my signature double-pattern-triple-pass cuts when an old beat up car pulls into my driveway and parks right next to the yard. Apart from me looking at ANYONE who doesn't know me (and most people who DO, for what it matters) sideways when they park in my driveway instead of on the street, it should be noted that I tend to move all cars to the opposite side of the driveway so I can properly turn the mower ...
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Football observations, brought on by The Katie...

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That's right, I am partially blaming this one on her. A large strengthening part of my relationship with the Katie is that she is genuinely interested in the sports that I am. Well, at least Basketball and Football, but we can work on road racing later. Anyways, this means that on given evenings (Wed-Fri to be exact), we will be watching -- or at least listening to background noise comprised of -- NBA games together. The onset of the NCAA season will add college games to that on Mondays and Tuesdays, then the end of NFL football will see the oncoming of NBA ball on Sunday afternoons. [ Phlip note - tell me I don't plan ahead for these things and mean it] Normally when one splices a scribe with an "anyways," he is returning back to the task at hand from a slight (or not so slight) digression, but being the asshole that I am, I am making a point of drawing your attention to the fact that I did not, while going further off into the rabbit hole. I will not apolo...
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