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How to have a baby... LIKE A BOSS

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Fun fact: On June 22, 2011 there was not a SINGLE baby item in my house… Then I left work on June 23, 2011. As ever, I jumped in the car, picked up my mother and took her home. As I walked in the house, Katie was ending a call and advised me that she was pregnant. To those who know what we WERE planning, this was a ton of bricks on the both of us. For the entire of the prior 7 months, Katie was planning for a bariatric surgery and had a schedule date of 06/28. The pregnancy test that had (now) cancelled surgery was a part of the pre-surgery performed on EVERY woman scheduled to have it. As active and consenting adults, the disappointment of this happening when it happened was one thing, but the urgency of planning for a baby overrides such sensibilities. We went to premarital counseling immediately upon receipt of the news and started planning. OB appointment set for the following week to establish how far along we are and begin some REAL planning for this. ...
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True Story©... Make em Regret It!

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(that ol Charlie is a good boy)      Funniest thing has been happening here for the last few months... Well, I'd say it's not "funny" so much as it is "peculiar."      As we've documented here at length, I prefer my friends and family text me instead of calling on the phone, it forces the conversation to whatever point needs to be made more efficiently. I say that to say *they* as the people who actually know me and my habits are not the problem, but people -- or more specifically, companies -- who do not respect this layer of my relationship with my phone are. It's loan offers after loan offers, sometimes voicemails suggesting some kind of urgency. It's people offering to buy a house I sold four years ago. It's spectrum and whoever else trying to sell me on their services. A couple of them are just random toll free numbers with just dead air!     A s a general rule, I'll send a call to voicemail once and if they really want somethi...
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True Story©... Holiday Conundrum Pt II - The Conclusion

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  [ Phlip note : if you weren't here last week, please start there before continuing ] Welcome back... Me: "'Fuck you mean *I* gotta fix the future of Christmas!?" Santa: "You're the one who told me to go and get these Big Dick--..." Me: "... no--..." Santa: "Dig Bick Throbbers. You talked me into going to get these things. Now they're clearly sending my elves into cardiac trauma and it is up to you to fix it." Me: "Have you considered taking away their narcotics, and maybe -- I'ono -- SOLVE the problem?" Santa: "It's too late for that now!" Me: "Dude, you said you could get through Christmas '25 and the real issue is down the road. That means you have--..." Santa: "... WE!!!" Me: "YOU have time. I work an office job and do landscaping. You're Santa fuckin Claus, the one with the magic and shit. Remember that wild ass- bag of coal you gave me that time?" Santa: ...
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