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True Story©... "Produced By Phlip"

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  (artist's rendering)      I've been busy, and I'm here to expla--... S'cuse me, I need to throw back to a phone call I made a few weeks ago... Them: "I been kinda waiting on this call." Me: "Bro, you said my name in a track?" Jericho: "Heh, yeah I kinda did. It was a compliment, a thanks though." Me: "Appreciate it, I guess. I mean, I ain't do MOST of that shit you said I did though." Jericho: "That's the game... We all cappin' to be totally honest." Me: "Well now I'm involved." Jericho: "What?" Me: "If my name is attached, so shall be my work." Jericho: "Again... What!?" Me: "I'mma help you, but I'mma HELP-help you." Jericho: "Sheeeeeid, that's all you had to say! What we getting up to?" Me: "First of all, get rid of that fuckin' voice modulator. I listened to your album and it--..." Jericho: "But it's fun...
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How to have a baby... LIKE A BOSS

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Fun fact: On June 22, 2011 there was not a SINGLE baby item in my house… Then I left work on June 23, 2011. As ever, I jumped in the car, picked up my mother and took her home. As I walked in the house, Katie was ending a call and advised me that she was pregnant. To those who know what we WERE planning, this was a ton of bricks on the both of us. For the entire of the prior 7 months, Katie was planning for a bariatric surgery and had a schedule date of 06/28. The pregnancy test that had (now) cancelled surgery was a part of the pre-surgery performed on EVERY woman scheduled to have it. As active and consenting adults, the disappointment of this happening when it happened was one thing, but the urgency of planning for a baby overrides such sensibilities. We went to premarital counseling immediately upon receipt of the news and started planning. OB appointment set for the following week to establish how far along we are and begin some REAL planning for this. ...
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True Story©… The Neverending Little Big Ordeal

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       For someone whose lifestyle is prone to misadventures that the two of you come here every Thursday to enjoy, it only stands to reason that I live in a constant existential fear that some small-at-the-time bullshit that I did months – YEARS – ago will one day come back and bite me on the ass. Wait… Y’all remember the time I tried to make a movie? What about now ? Welcome back.      So last week Tuesday or Wednesday, I am pretty sure it was Tuesday. I was walking Thunder on my lunch break during a commercial break while Judge Jerry was on.  A car comfortably comes to a stop in front of my house, in stark contrast to the screeching halt I normally witness when I am about to be accosted.  A midget little person climbs down and toddles over to me.  I stop him as he gets inside of about leash distance but still not close enough to touch my dog, “I’m isolating from close contact with SIX people who tested positive last week, m...
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