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Ghetto-ass names; they're my birth control

I work in a place where I have to actually talk to people from doctors' offices. Often times, I see or hear people with names that cause me to HONESTLY question: what the fuck their parents were thinking when they saddled them with it? if said parents were even a MOMENT over the age of 16 when they named them? are fathers REALLY so pretentious as to need to name their DAUGHTERS after themselves? Enlisting the assistance of The Katie in the name of collection of the names as presented, as well as offering up a few of her own, I have compiled here a list of some of the most egregious of the names I have since come across... If you happen upon this list and find your name, don't take it personally... If you happen upon this list and you see the name of YOUR child, TAKE IT PERSONALLY and apologize to your children as soon as possible. If you've bestowed one of these names upon an as-yet unborn child, please rethink your strategy, use a different and STILL apologize to your chi...
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True Story©... Date Night

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      It's spring, y'all, that means I'm back cutting grass for the money… Not that I'm hurting for cash in a two-income household, but I really do love the additional cash in hand if I wanna just up and grab me and/or Wife Person™ a new pair of Nikes or just be like "cover up your titties and put on some shoes, we going to eat something good" on a Sunday morning without first checking my account balance.      Which brings us to last Friday… I got off at 5 and did a quick first-cut on a new client, took me an hour including travel back home. Barely broke a sweat, didn't even unload when I got to the house, just locked up and ran in the house to wash up real quick and told Wife Person™ let's go eat. Her: "Where we going?" Me: "Put your shoes on and get in that white station wagon out there." She stopped asking questions and put on her shoes. I threw mine on and off we were!      At an to-remained-unnamed restaurant, we were seate...
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(12) Herbert Jeffrey "Herbie" Hancock

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Today marks the anniversary of Herbie Hancock's 70th trip around the sun, give or take the amount we lose to the idea of time being a still inexact science, thus necessitating leap years. As some of you know already, I happen to be one of the biggest fans of Herbie you'll ever come across. I happen to very much dig how easily and effectively he blurs the lines between genres of music without cheapening anything he should happen to involve himself in. Need someone to play a concert piano? You got it! Need someone to master the not-so-much-used clavinet? Yep! Hip hop is taking influence now, could you learn the 808? Damn skippy! As one of the ones tapped to play in the youngest of Miles Davis' famous quintets -- known as the "second great quintet" -- we saw Herbie come in on what SHOULD have been the coattail of an even-then careermaker in Jazz music, but still find his own right there, using things rarely if ever seen in Jazz music. Not only "Miles' piano ...
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